(Verse 1) They waddle to the sidelines, keyboards in a huff, Armchair generals reckon they’re real tough. I’m out here in me thongs, kickin’ dust and cans, Critics clutch their pearls, I’ve ruined their plans. (Pre-Chorus) They type in all caps, “You’re a disgrace, mate!” But I’m too busy winning at life’s great gate. (Chorus) Australian rules, I’m the king of this farce, Sling me your shade, I’ll just laugh in the grass. Fists in the air, I’m a legend, you see, Critics can’t touch this parody of me! (Verse 2) They’re frothin’ at the mouth, “He’s not refined!” I’m chuggin’ a VB, mate, I’m doin’ just fine. They reckon I’m a bogan, a stain on their class, But I’ll mark their whingein’ with a boot up the—grass. (Pre-Chorus) They moan, they groan, they call me a clown, But I’m the jester who’s stealin’ their crown. (Chorus) Australian rules, I’m the king of this farce, Sling me your shade, I’ll just laugh in the grass. Fists in the air, I’m a legend, you see, Critics can’t touch this parody of me! (Bridge) Oh, they’ve got their blogs, their sanctimonious rants, I’ve got me stubby holder and me victory dance. They’re clutchin’ their lattes, cryin’ “He’s too loud!” I’ll moon ‘em from the grandstand, make the nation proud. (Chorus) Australian rules, I’m the king of this farce, Sling me your shade, I’ll just laugh in the grass. Fists in the air, I’m a legend, you see, Critics can’t touch this parody of me! (Outro) So bring your hot takes, your pompous decree, I’ll fight ya with sarcasm and a cold VB. Australian rules, it’s a satirical win, Critics can shove it—where the sun don’t begin!

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